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My FAQ Expanded No 4: Whereabouts in America Are You From?

An American Escort in England gets asked a lot of questions. I have a basic FAQ page here, and in a series of blog posts I am going to expand upon some of them.

Q) Whereabouts in America Are You From?

A) Ohio, By Way of California.

American escorts in the UK are a bit of a novelty. This is THE most commonly-asked question of all. Pretty much every client who calls will ask me this as well as most people I meet in my day-to-day life. (At least in Manchester and Glasgow. In London, nobody really gives a shit that I am American.) So I have to explain to people where Ohio is. “Oh, it’s in the middle. On one of the Great Lakes.” Sometimes I get tired of the blank looks “Ohio” elicits and I will tell people that I am from California. Then their faces will brighten right up because everybody knows where that is.

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This tall MILF was born in the bottom left-hand corner of the State, just south of the letter “M” in “Made.”

Ohio is not a glamorous place. It’s mostly flat farmland with a couple of decent-sized industrial cities. I was born in Cincinnati, Ohio, which is particularly unremarkable. Sat on the Ohio River, it’s known primarily as the headquarters for Proctor & Gamble (where I used to work in the research and development labs.) Its main culinary delicacy is Cincinnati Chili, which is a watery chili con carne seasoned with spices like cinnamon and cumin ladled over plates of spaghetti and topped with very finely-grated American cheese, and then a selection of toppings (called “ways”) including diced onion and kidney beans. It may sound weird to you, but I would do unspeakable things for a plate of this right now:

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Not pictured is the little dish of oyster crackers you eat with this. I can’t get oyster crackers in the UK and that makes me very sad.

But, you know, sometimes great things from unremarkable places. Ohio is the birthplace of:

Eight U.S. Presidents

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Pub Quiz Fact: 27th President William Howard Taft was so fat he got stuck in the Whitehouse bathtub and it took several plumbers to get him out.

Twenty-Four Astronauts – Including Neil Armstrong and John Glenn

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Neil Armstrong second Ohioan in space, first man on the moon. In space you can’t hear us chant “USA! USA! USA!”

Charles Manson

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Charlie grew up on the poor side of Cincinnati. His mother once sold him as a child for a bucket of beer.

And Me!

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Stars and Stripes Forever! American Escort in the UK.

I moved to San Francisco California just a couple of weeks after my 21st birthday. I lived in the Bay Area (with a brief stint in Los Angeles) for nine years. It was there that I got started in sexwork.

A girl I used to work with on a punk rock magazine was a dancer at a peep show called The Lusty Lady and she got me a job there. The Lusty Lady was completely women-owned and generally was a pretty cool place to work. I started out dancing in the main peep show – a mirrored room surrounded by shuttered windows with about three or four girls dancing. Men would put quarters into slots to watch for thirty seconds at a time. All the girls were punk rock chicks and all the male support staff were pretty cool. (They made a lot of extra cash picking up sticky quarters off the floor.) I’m a shit dancer but I like to talk so they put me into the Private Pleasures booth. This was a one-on-one thing that was sort of like a cross between phone sex and visiting someone in prison. The punter would put five dollars through a slot in the window and I would open the curtain and entertain him with dildos and dirty talk for three minutes. I got half the takings. I liked the lulls between clients when I would open the curtain separating me from the lobby and banter over the PA with guys walking past. “Come on in and see how much of this massive cock I can stuff into my pussy!”

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Where this American Escort got her start. I can smell the pervasive odor of cum and disinfectant just looking at this photo.

An American Escort is born: It didn’t take me long to figure out that I could arrange something a little more profitable for the end of my shift – there was a hot tub spa down the street that would rent a private room with a bed and a hot tub for cheap thirty-minute sessions. Towards the end of a shift I’d suggest meeting for “the real thing” to a client. I remember the first time I did this, I asked another girl in the dressing room how much I should charge. I literally had no idea. “Don’t take less than a hundred dollars!” she said. I didn’t know if that was the local going rate but I liked the round number. I think I made about $100 per shift in the Private Pleasures booth and then I’d double it afterwards by seeing a punter at the spa.

I did this for a few months and then another friend suggested that I just whore full-time at one of the Berkeley Massage parlours. Berkeley was renowned for its parlours, tolerated by a liberal local government so long as they made somewhat of an effort to disguise what was really going on. And so I worked for several years at the legendary Golden Gypsy Massage on Telegraph Avenue. I looked online for a photo of the place but couldn’t find anything. It was finally shut down some years ago, which made me very sad when I learned of it.

The Golden Gypsy was awesome. It wasn’t anything like the parlours over here. Tommy, the owner, never got involved in our business. As far as he was concerned, we were doing massages and getting tips. The punters would pay a fee to the house for a “massage” and that basically got them the girl of their choice in a private room for a half hour or an hour. Once in the room, all negotiations were between the escort and the punter and she got to keep all of her money. We could charge whatever we wanted, although we girls did price fix among ourselves. It was a safe, fun, and easy place to work. All I had to do was show up and wait to get picked from the lineup. EVERYTHING was covered, then. Blow jobs were always with a condom. I can’t remember anyone going down on me – I don’t think anyone ever asked. We never even kissed – it just wasn’t done. The idea of the “girlfriend experience” was unheard of in those days. Now, I think it’s really weird when a client doesn’t want to kiss!

I still miss many of the women I worked with and wonder how they’re all doing. I managed to track one of them down about ten years ago, just before I moved to the UK. She told me that Tommy had died of liver failure and that Pat, an African American woman I worked with every Saturday for years, had died of a heart attack. I would give almost anything to find the rest of the girls and find out how they’re doing. I promise to write more about my time at the Golden Gypsy in the future. I had a lot of fun there and saw some bizarre things.

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I graduated summa cum laude with a degree in the History of Art. Perhaps I shouldn’t have majored in something so utterly useless.

At some point along the line I started to attend classes at the City College of San Francisco. I did well and so was able to transfer to the University of California at Berkeley, conveniently located just a few blocks up the street from work. I would go to class all week, then on Friday nights go to the Golden Gypsy to work the night shift. I’d sleep there, get up early on Saturday, and work the day shift. After twenty-four hours, I’d walk out with my pockets stuffed with cash.

I graduated from university and then moved to Philadelphia, where I worked at the top of these very famous steps:

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When I say that I worked here, I don’t mean as an escort!

My life was quite a bit more tame and boring for a number of years. I moved to the UK in 2006 and three years ago I felt the pull back into working as an escort. I have been providing incalls in Manchester City Centre, as well as touring to other parts of Britain, including London, Glasgow, Oxford and other locations ever since.

(This is the personal website of mature manchester Escort KimberlyC, a tall American MILF providing incalls and outcalls in Manchester, as well as touring to provide incalls in London, Glasgow, and Oxford.)

My FAQ Expanded No 3: Is There Anything You Don’t Do?

I thought it would be fun to write a series of posts in which I expand on questions I am commonly asked by the gentlemen who call to book. It’s only natural to have plenty of questions when you’re about to drop a significant amount of money on a booking with an escort. I have a basic FAQ page here, and in a series of blog posts I am going to expand upon some of them.

Q) Is There Anything You Don’t Do?

A) Well, yes, obviously.

This is a question I am asked with surprising frequency. As I’ve said before, it’s always best to ask direct question when booking an escort. Questions with a “yes” or “no” answer are better than vague, open-ended questions. And I don’t know if there’s a vaguer, more open-ended question than, “What don’t you do?”

Taken literally, the answer to that question is an infinite list of things I don’t do, including levitate, raise the dead, time travel, exceed the speed of light, photosynthesize…

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As much as this MILF escort is capable of, flying a F/A Hornet is not a service on offer

Obviously, the caller means things of a sexual nature, but even that is a large list and someone will always surprise me by suggesting something that I have never even considered before. It would take a while to catalog the things that I do not do. Have a look at an escorts description of what she does do and then ask if there is something not covered to your satisfaction there. What I do is enumerated pretty thoroughly on my Services page. You will see that I offer a pretty comprehensive “GFE experience” – so you can expect me to enthusiastically kiss, cuddle, perform oral with or without a condom (OWO), receive oral sex on myself, indulge in some hot protected intercourse, engage in anal play, and share a titillating collection of toys. (Anal sex is available at discretion, so I don’t advertise it as a given.) The one thing that is not listed on my services that I am happy to do is watersports (giving.) I used to say “No” to this but I tried it once and thought it was fun. I’m not sure why I haven’t listed it – I guess I’m concerned that it will lower the tone or something.

I will dabble in some things like role play if the scenario sounds interesting and doesn’t involve something I find off-putting. It’s not really part of my spontaneous, genuine GFE thing so I don’t advertise it. I will also do some mild domination, involving a bit of tie-and-tease, light spanking, or good-humoured humiliation but I also don’t advertise that as I am not a professional dominatrix and I wouldn’t want to disappoint anyone.

I don’t like to take the tack of saying, “I don’t do this and I won’t do that” because it sounds sort of negative. But I will go ahead and list a few of the more common things that others escorts may do but I do not.

Probably the major no-no is bareback/unprotected sex. No, I won’t do that. I used to think it went without saying that if I didn’t advertise it as available, then it was not available, but I was naive. Apparently, there are girls who do it on the quiet – perhaps only with regulars or they’ll hint in a booking that it’s an option for extra money. So, I will make it very clear that I will never offer bareback sex no matter how many times you visit me or how much extra money is offered.

I also don’t take “facials.” I have tried it a few times in the past and it only took getting cum in my eyes one time to strike that off my list of services. Semen in the eyes burns, ruins contact lenses, and can spread STI’s. Even if I keep my eyes screwed tightly shut, it can still dribble down and I don’t think men have any control where it goes.

Another thing I have tried and not enjoyed was strap-on or “pegging.” I think toys are fun and I enjoy anal play but the three times I’ve tried using a strap-on I found it very awkward and uncomfortable. Also, it can get a bit too messy. I always prepare myself with an anal douche before every booking, but I don’t expect a businessman on his lunch break to have done the same. However, a small vibrator or finger covered in a condom is much easier to deal with and I’m always happy to do that.

I don’t allow filming or photography, except on occasion with my own camera. I like to have full control over any photos and videos

Finally, I am not interested in anything that involves receiving pain or humiliation, or being tied up. It’s just not my scene at all.

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I have a nice little satin blindfold… but this sort of thing is well outside of my repertoire!

That’s not an exhaustive list but I think it covers the basics in terms of things that other escorts may do but I do not. There are probably things I haven’t thought of. If you are booking any escort (not just me) and you have a very specific request, check to see what services they offer. If it’s not mentioned in her advertised services, the odds are that she won’t do it, so you should ask when you call to book.

I have noticed that some of the escorts who market themselves as very “high class” don’t really spell out what they do. I’m not sure if they worry they will look cheap for doing so or if they’re simply very flexible and decide on a case-by-case basis what they will do. Since escorting is legal in the UK and we’re adults, I prefer to be as up-front as possible about my services.

(This is the personal website of KimberlyC, a mature independent Manchester Escort.)